The value of this piece would increase exponentially if I branded it bespoke, a word we simply can’t get enough of these days (or maybe I am just now noticing it, the way I noticed every pregnant person when I too was expecting).

I don’t particularly dislike the word bespoke, like my husband dislikes the word mealie (as in a mealie piece of fruit). His dislike stems from the auditory sound of the word and not necessarily the definition - although neither are especially appealing.

Bespoke, because of its definition, is currently the rage, and is being overused and clichéd by companies, advertisers, and marketers, which makes me wonder - why? What is it about bespoke that we the consumers are supposed to find so attractive, and what does its popularity say about us as a society?

The word bespoke was originally used by tailors. When a person went to their tailor to order a suit, they would pick out a fabric, and that fabric was then “spoken for.”

Today, we use the word a little differently and a whole lot more frequently – anything custom, specialized, made to order, unique, and luxurious is bespoke (and generally more expensive). We have bespoke hair products, bespoke dog food, bespoke vitamins, bespoke cocktails, bespoke running shoes, and, of course, bespoke burgers – Wagyu beef, medium rare, toasted multigrain bun with caramelized onions, avocado, and truffle hot ketchup - YES PLEASE. 

And while it doesn’t bother me to purchase a product that is made the way I want it, what concerns me is that corporations are using the idea behind the word to play into something that has long been rooted in our culture: individualism. And the more recent need to feel special - and maybe even a smidgen elite. 

On paper, I believe in individualism. Our country was founded on individual initiative, creativity, and freedom of individual thought and action. I was raised to be independent and self-reliant, and I believe in the American Dream - which leans into the idea that in our country, anything is possible (even bespoke startups like Pinterest, Pandora, and Wordpress). 

However, I also believe in the power of community, the common good, teamwork, and lending a helping hand. We are nothing without each other.

Just last night, my husband and I watched A Man Called Otto starring Tom Hanks. And although most critics did not applaud the movie’s efforts - citing Hanks as its greatest asset - I appreciated the theme (and it fits in nicely with this piece). Otto, a grumpy old man who has given up on life, finds new purpose through his relationship with his misfit neighbors. They take care of each other and, in the end, save the neighborhood. 

Individualism and common good are not mutually exclusive, but we must seek to find the elusive balance. 

Our relationship to elitism may be more difficult to grasp and accept, but If I am being honest with myself, I enjoy the small perks that come with being treated special. 

A few years ago, I became a member of a special group. I had been traveling a lot on JetBlue and had accrued enough points to be a part of their Mosaic program. 

And I loved it.

As a Mosaic member, I boarded planes first, zipped through security lines, had a dedicated phone line for any airline issues, and the flight attendants would always make a point to thank me for my loyalty. I loved being treated special. And all of the attention made me sit up a little straighter in my seat with extra leg room, thoroughly enjoy my miniature bag of Cheez-Its, and feel a teensy bit superior. 

In reality, being a member of the Mosaic group simply meant I was traveling a lot and made me no more superior than anyone else on the plane. It was a false sense of self that played into my ego and, even worse, kept me feeling separate from the non-Mosaic members on board (including my husband, who had not yet been accepted into the exclusive group).

And while corporations exploit our attraction to individualism and elitism, I worry that both concepts do more to separate us than connect us - individualism by declaring us unique, lone travelers on this road of life, and elitism through the power of comparison.

And now more than ever we need to be working together; our bespoke way of living doesn’t seem to be working. 

In our schools, in our communities, and in our government, we can be proud of our own individual thoughts, beliefs, and preferences, while still respecting and appreciating those who may be different, believe differently, and think differently.

Thankfully there are corporations that have ducked the bespoke trap and focus instead on these values, and their advertising campaigns reflect it. In “The Wonder of Us,” Coca-Cola brought the world together in a video that displays close-up pictures of everyone from different walks of life. Adidas saluted teamwork in an ad portraying diversity with the tagline, “Change is a team sport.” And in their iconic “Just Do It” campaign, Nike took a big step towards inclusivity in sport, appealing to all mankind (you and me), and not just the elite athletes. 

And these ads collectively give us hope, and that hope is something worth exploring. 

Steve Jobs, in his infinite wisdom, described beautifully the way we can come together for the better good through teamwork, using the illustration of multiple rocks inside a tumbler: “It's through the act of bumping into each other - tumbling together - that we polish each other and help each other to really shine.”

So, let’s shine. Together.

Because, in the end, we all want a country that is bespoken for.