My marathon was the 1998 New York City Marathon; it was a perfect running day, 50 degrees and sunny, no wind. I remember my nerves as I toed the starting line and the cheers of the loyal New Yorkers who buffered the streets. I can still taste the bananas, Gatorade and water so generously offered to me from strangers on the sidewalks, the remains of which were tossed aside and then flattened by those a few steps behind. Runners of all ages, shapes, sizes and colors encouraged, high-fived, and cajoled, creating community over competition. At GPS points chosen beforehand, I searched for friends holding homemade signs. I listened to makeshift bands in Harlem and needed to pee on 5th Avenue.

Today, looking down at flabby thighs, a chronically sore hip, and a foot too unpleasant to describe, it’s hard to imagine that I ever ran 26.2 miles, even on a perfect day. While I used to run with gusto, needing a daily fix to survive, I have found that after the first marathon, runners do one of two things: they are either hooked or done. I was the latter.

“Life is a marathon, not a sprint” is an analogy that is painfully overused and probably inherently flawed, but when I consider this time we are in now, it’s hard to ignore the similarities. We have been at it for over three weeks, I think, and while the virus might be sprinting, we are most definitely not. We need skills and strategies that are more suited for a marathon runner.  

When I was preparing for my marathon, I paid close attention to how I was fueling my body. I ate protein and loaded up on carbohydrates, happily, and drank plenty of water. Good nutrition gave me the ability to exert the most energy before, during and after the race, leveled my mood, and helped me sleep better.

Currently, we don’t need as many carbs, but in our house, we think a lot about food. “What should we have for dinner?” is the first question of the day on our family text, closely followed by “Who is cooking?” Nutrition is critical right now. Eating healthy can boost our immune system and give our bodies the best chance to fight disease.

On race day, for me, it was all about mental fortitude and pace. There is beauty in the flow and rhythm of the stride, the miles when you feel like you can run forever. But there are also stretches when every step feels weighted and tiresome. In a marathon, around mile 20, a runner can feel like he or she is literally hitting a wall and getting through it can take mental toughness and a strong will. It’s in these moments that you reach into your reserve and take out everything you’ve got.

Likewise, combating the pandemic, we will all have good and bad days. Some are full of gratitude for those who are caring for the ill, stocking our shelves and sharing our living room couch, and others are full of fear or boredom or loneliness. These are the days that we need to delve deep, watch a good movie, connect with a friend, eat that Oreo - anything to get us through the wall.

It’s important to know your pace, the speed in which you can run in order to conserve enough energy to take you right to the finish. Go out too fast and you just won’t make it. I ran my marathon with my sister and a friend. We stayed together for ten miles and then, ultimately, we eased into our own groove and found each other again in Central Park.  It’s just too hard to run at someone else’s pace.

The same is true now. I am fast and furious in the mornings which allows me to take the afternoon a little slower and the evening even slower. One son stays up late and works in the quiet of the night, while another works consistently throughout the day. But at some point, we find each other, usually at the dinner table where we reconnect, stretch a muscle and take a break.

I have long since hung up my Nike Airs. I miss the high that came at the end of the run - the amazing endorphins that eased any pain - and gave me a real sense of accomplishment and kept me coming back, day after day. And I miss the feeling that I got at the end of my marathon, the dramatic finish beneath an inflated arch, the feeling of warmth from being wrapped in a silver thermal blanket and into the outstretched arms of my family.

As we move into another day, another week even, we are not expected to be elite runners, just participants, integral parts of the community, running, sometimes walking and even limping forward. A marathon is about endurance and grit, but it is also about spirit and camaraderie and a collective effort to reach the end. And the analogy, take it or leave it, but as you make your way forward in these uncertain times, consider the words said by a runner when he completed his race:

I started strong but I crossed the finish line even stronger.